Story time - You will laugh till you shed tears after reading this story

I dont know why girls are just wicked like the Witch in my village.... this story wey i won talk now funny but nah somtin wey still de pain me till today....

i wonder why as a guy, you will invite a girl to your house and she will think the invitation is for her to come and watch Telemundo and Zee World, drink Malt, collect transport and go... guyz wuna know wetin i mean nah... dat thing can pain eeh! This same situation happened to me last week when i invited a babe to my house and she promised to show up ....

asin eeh, the kind preparation wey i prepare sef pass wedding preparation. Asin i just de wonder how i go take run the package.... na so i de count days, de anticipate. i de call her steady o...! make e no be say the day go com reach, she go come de tell me say she forget...you know dat kind thing nah guyz.

GHEN GHEN! GHEN GHEN!
Today is the deal day, it was 7 a.m in the morning. I picked up my phone and called Vero to know howfar. Because i no won hear story for the gods o.

She picked and i asked her if she is still coming... still keh...! thunder go fire her if she talk say no. she no go fit try am nah...

Oboi! She said she is coming by 9 a.m...

omo no joy o .. and i am to report to work by latest, 8:30 a.m. thunder go fire devil, is like person de follow me from village. Why be say nah this kind time she say she go come.

And if i tell her i will be at work by then, she might shutdown the coming... as a sharp guy wey i be... bobo no go die . All work no play make jack a dull boy o.

So i pick my phone dial my boss number, i told him my mum just called me from the neighbouring viĺlage that she is so sick that i need to go there to check on her health... make God forgive me shaa... omo nah that kind lie fit work o cos this boss them eeh..! Dem dey hard to convince.

Omo..! my boss accepted o. I happy die. Nah so i start to de tidy my room o, clean my tv and sets, change bed spread, clean window luvas so that fresh air go come in, arrange my dirty cloth one side, clean mirror incase the babe go won check her self out, that kind thing nah. Wash my toilet make the smell no go fall my hands, Put water for bathroom incase the babe go won shower. Clean clean everywhere, arrange my shoes well, put the ones wey make sence for front com pack the one wey don die put for back. change my Bob to blue Bob... that kind thing nah, put my condom for where my hand get am sharply during emmergency. Com spray room freshner...... omo...! guyz no get joy at all.

For about one week, i haven't clean up my house like this and i did all these chores in 30mins because of this babe...

omo make we no lie, babes de very important. Make we credit dem for that area because nah them de make all guyz for this life won clean the mess inside their house.

Some guyz will say, i don't like dirts that why i keep my room tidy... my brother that one nah big lie, nah because of babe. Guy wey no get babe no de bother to clean house even throughout a year....

It 8am already so i picked my phone, called her and she said she is already on her way by bike. So i gave her a landmark to drop.... omo...! body just de sweet me... nah so i just de imagine the way i go take wound the babe, de reherse some kind styles... this babe go know me today... she go know say guyz no get joy at all especially me...

My phone rang loudly. I picked the call and it was the babe... she said she is at the landmark i describe to her.... omo see joy for my face.

So i picked up my shirt, brushup my hair sharply, clean my pam and walked straight to the landmark... omo see fine boy... this babe go believe today.

Getting there, i saw her standing with the bike man. She welcomed me with a sweet hug... chai! my head wan blow off...this hug sweet die. even the bike man feel am so te him wan cum.

I asked howmuch is the pay for the bike man and the bike man said it 200naira.

Omo this bike man won cut my neck o... because him see me with babe. him normal money nah 70naira o. Chai! Okada man nawa o... u just won jonze me for this babe front.

I just have to pay shaa... not to spoil my show. Fine boy, see wallet. O.B.O...! baddest ! I removed 1k and give to the bike man to give me change. So he gave me 750naira change. this bike man lasan . E just wan fall my hand.

I collected the change and we moved to my house.. Omo...! see swag... i con de greet people for road o... dat kind thing nah... make dem notice me say i carry babe nah... da kind thing... i even greet people wey i no even know. ..

If you see the way i was even walking gaan ... all with swag . me and the babe just de speak foneh give ourself.

We got to my house, i opened my door soflty with swag. We both walked in and i welcomed her once again into my house and told her to sit down.... omo...! this babe won com fuckup o... she con de sit down for chair...which kind rough play be that one nah... she no fit sit down for bed? I have wanted to break this chair since but my junior sis said she needs it thats why i kept it for her.

This chair have always been an obstacle in all my packages. This one no go funny o... how will i convince this babe to come to the bed now. Ola no de carry last nah... just wait see my scope.

I opened my fridge and brought out a malt and a glass with a tray, and place it on a stool at her front... instantly, she said don't worry am ok. You know the way girls take de form nah... like say dem no de shit. She later accepted the drink shaa...

so i put on the television, so we both watch movie and chill with discussion... omo..! make i no lie, my mind no de there at all... i no de concentrate for the movie... my mind be say make we... you know...that kind thing... So we discussed shaaa... we move to the issue of our relationship package...

omo see scoping... the babe just de form hard like Jet Li.... but trust me nah... king of scoping... before we go say jack robbinson, the babe don de bed o... even me self no know how manage my scope unlock her.

Omo...! i bad gaan... we got to the bed and my hands started travelling around her world... omo see groove... o lord..! this can't be me... at that moment, i no get problem for this world at all. Even if my mama call me that time, i swear i no go pick. no be joke o. I no go pick at all.

My hands were travelling east, north, west and south around her body... com see smooching... huuuuuh! if i die, make you no cry for me (dagrin). My kporon is head up firmly waiting for the koko . I don't know when i fling my boxers to an unknown corner of my room. Guyz, wuna don turn On abi... abeg no cum for your trouser o .

I stretched my hands beneath my pillow to get my shinguide (condom). Omo no dulling..! No time to check time...! My kporon is already suffocating. It is now so anxious for the koko . As i stretch my hands towards my shinguide, she hold my hands and stoped me from taking it and then the unspeakable......

this is what all guyz will never like to hear.... Jisas!!!!!! O my lawd!!!! Waadaf*ck!!!!! Yeeeeeh!!! (crying).

What came out of her mouth was "ola, plz we can't do this today cos am on my"...... eeeh! on what! Gbese re o! Aahhhh! Aye mi baje! temi bami! Why didn't you tell me before coming.

Girls are very heartless. At that point i now believed that someone from my village is pouring sand sand in my garri . After all my anticipation, so this is what it will result to... So now i loose at home. After all my training not to loose this match...

So you are seeing your period?... God go judge.... after you don drink malt, God go hudgei pay for bike, i lie for my Oga say my mama sick, all my card wey i take call you. God go judge o.

The issue is no more funny at all.... am just week with sadness all over my face. She was now promising to make it up to me the next time she visits. Kai! the is so heartbreaking. My mind was telling me maybe she is just lieing, you know girls with there tricks nah... e be lyk say make i confirm the place with my hand. But i hold on make i no go touch wetin go make me cut off my hands.

That how we ended the visit just smooching and turning myself On unnecessaryly.

So i put on my boxers and dressed up to excot her. My mind was not please with her at all, e be like say make i tie her down till she finish her period. Who knows maybe nah the last time wey she go come be that.

We moved to the road side where she can get a bike. So she got one, and i was wondering if she will still expect me to pay for again. So i deep my hands into my pocket to bring out money and she said don't bother.

Before you think say i go pay... we want make i loose home and away abi... She promised to show up next week shaa. She gave me a kiss shaa . Mtcheeew..! the kiss sour die. .. but i manage am shaa...

So thats how i loose this match i said to myself as i watch her moved away by the bike. Chai..! So i loose this match....

My kporon was still standing firm... i said to in my mind... bros beta behave o! Joy no de at all.

I turned and moved straight to my house. On my way i started feeling some slight pains from the balls of my kporon.... that should be the result of turning on without doing the Koko i think. I con de waka like person wey get boil for nyash . Omo no joy o! The pains started growing gradually, this time i concluded finally that my village witch have got me already.... God go punish this babe o... see the kind wahala wey she com put me.

I started spreading my legs to walk so as not to allow my balls touch each other to make the pain brutal.

Chai...! Person go do dis babe wetin go pain her pass this one I.J.N (crying) It took me about 30minutes to get to my house. because of this sevear pains from my Kporon . I got home and lye flat on my bed looking at the ceiling. Chai...! No hope of getting this pains off. Who tell me make i book this babe self. See the kind bad economy wey she go put me now. When the pain continue with brutal stress, i decide to get a pain reliever from the nearby pharmacy.

When i got there with my balls jingling with pains. I ask them to give me piroxicam(feldin) for the relief of waist pain. I drank the drug at that point for fast relief.

But unfortunately for about 15minutes the pains still continue... that one mean say this my village people gather sit down for my matter o .

I felt maybe the girl have transfered her menstrual pains to me.... e con be like say nah me de see my period.

.. so i added flagyl to complete the combination of medicine for mestrual pain relief. Upon all, no way o... the pain still continue....

So i remember i needed to do the right thing. I went straight home, went inside my bathroom, get a soap and kolobi myself... bobo no go die ... before i go com die inside room now because of wrong move. I wound myself with soap wey be say e com be as if say the babe give me the koko. Plz don't try this at home, guyz...

Oh! Lawd.... no kissing, no climbing, no smooching. Chai...! Ola, hell fire de wait for you. Spoil spoil boy !, thats what is in you guyz mind right now abi. Thats not the real me o... nah situation make crayfish bend..

Asin eeeh ! Finally i got relieved... i will never try this shit again in my life... whenever am inviting girls. I will make sure i confirm her status first. With all scope.... person fit die like this o.

Lesson to you guyz also....make sure you confirm the status of anygirl you are inviting before she comes. if not... your matter go worst pass my own o. If it be say your balls go fall off. Atlease my own still de.